Today was my due date; the day I expected to hold my baby for the first time; the day I should have become a Mommy; the day I would watch my husband bond and fall in love with his baby boy; the day my Mom would become a Grandma and my Grandma would become a Great-Grandma; the day I would get to touch your soft skin and wrap your fingers around mine; today was suppose to be special. Instead this day Jan 12th I sit in my chair with empty arms and a broken heart.
Today is extremely difficult. Not just because of my due date but today I found out my Grandma's cancer is terminal. It was just one week ago today she went to the hospital and it seems my whole life turned upside down once again. Never did I even think 2010 would be our last Christmas together. It seems God is trying to teach me about love, faith, hope, trust, and so much more. I just don't know why He had to take my baby and soon He will have my Grandma.
This post is very short because I am at a loss for words. I can't explain the pain I feel each day thinking about what could have been. I can't explain how empty my heart is knowing my Grandma will not be here to see her next great grandchild. It should not be this way. My heart is broken.