Our journey started nearly 10 years ago when my husband, Peter, and I met through a mutual friend. After 5 years of dating and enduring a long distance relationship we got married in August of 2007. Married life is incredible and each day brings new adventures into our lives. At the beginning of this year we decided we wanted to extend our family and I couldn't have been happier about our decision. A baby with my amazing husband, a new path down this journey we call life, what else could I ask for! Little did I know this year would be the start of an unforgettable journey - the loss of our son.
On May 12, 2010 after 3 pregnancy tests I discovered I was pregnant. I couldn't stop smiling. Other than the day I married my husband I have never felt this much joy. I decided to surprise Peter. I text him during the day and asked him to meet me for dinner at CPK. I bought the book 'What to Expect When Your Expecting,' a Father's Day card, and a few other miscellaneous items. I placed them all in a bag that said 'Happy Father's Day.' I arrived at the restaraunt before Peter so I could ask the waitress for help with my big surprise. This is how it played out...The waitress seated us at a booth. Minutes later she arrived at our table with a high-chair and placed it at the edge of the table and simply walked away. Peter and I looked at each other in confusion and Peter thought she brought the high-chair by mistake - but it was all part of my plan. He said, "I'll tell her when she walks by again she must have the wrong table." I said, "Good idea." Minutes later the waitress arrived with the bag I previously talked about and placed it in the seat of the high-chair and once again walked away. Now Peter looked more confused than ever. He looked inside the bag and realized this was all about us and our little one. He couldn't stop smiling either.
As days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months we were enjoying the pregnant life. Or not enjoying. I had morning sickness for nearly 4 1/2 months. The best part of that I lost 11lbs! I couldn't complain. Although I was losing weight the Dr.'s said baby and Mommy are healthy. Again I couldn't be happier. On August 26, 2010 we had an ultra sound (19 weeks) to find out the sex. We wanted to find out the sex of the baby with all of our family and closest friends. We asked the technician to write the sex on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope. That same Saturday, the 28th, we had a reveal party. I took the sealed envelope to a baker and told them if the paper said boy to fill the cake with chocolate and banana filling. If it was a girl to fill the cake with strawberry filling. After eating and much suspense we cut into the cake - IT'S A BOY! Honestly, we didn't know the sex until that very moment. Peter's face was unforgettable. To this day it is a bitter sweet memory.
Sunday September 12, 2010 at 11:18pm at 5 1/2 months into my pregnancy my beautiful baby boy was born and made his entrance into Heaven.
This introduction is so long because these are the only memories I will ever have of my baby. I will never be able to hold him, kiss him, smoother him with love, push him on a swing, watch him open Christmas gifts, hear his first word, hear him call me Mommy, watch him take his first step and so much more. What was suppose to be the best 9 months of our lives ended with heartbreak. Our lives are forever changed and our unforgettable journey has just begun.